It feels as if the walls are closing in. I'm only satisfied when I'm playing for Him. Other times I'm reduced to a vegetable. Whats the use of trying so hard if there isn't anything to gain? I'm so sick of feeling this and yet I can't stop. Where's the switch? Why can't I be selfish? Why do I have to wait? What am I waiting for? I just want to move on. I just want to hate her. It'll be so much easier.

No one owes you anything... Be honest with yourself Daryl. She was young and she didn't know what she was doing. She may have meant it at the time. But its comparable to a child wanting a new toy. Then throwing it away after awhile. She doesn't give a shit. Why do you care so much? The worst thing is... after so much whining and complaining. I'll still yearn for her tomorrow. Its been like this for a year. I really hope something good is coming from all this.

::: Lyric of the Day :::
Breathe, trust, bless me and release
Climb, hard or never be seen
Closed off rescue to breathe
Just bless me

Closure has come to me, myself
You will never belong to me

Like a leech
I hold on as if we belonged
To some precious pure dream
Cast off you've seen what's beneath
Now fail me

Forget closure... Forget closure... Forget closure... Forget closure...